acceptance

[skydejki]

I am seeking advice on this subject, my husband belongs to a church that believes in groups settings for fellowship family groups, bible studies and mdweek svc.. i.e you may be matched based on where you live, age and sex of kids, etc.  anyways for the past 3 yrs he's been involved with this church I have never felt accepted by the women in the groups. I feel they are legalistic and pharasictal.  This causes conflict in my marriage cause I want to look for a new church and move on. i see no benefit or glory going to God from my being involved.  my husband does not want to change he feels no church or church people are perfect, he's comfortable so why go.. I know the bible calls for me to submit to my husband but I  am at the end of my ropes.

[Terri McFaddin]

Dear Sister:
It seems like your husband is more committed to his church than he is to your happiness.  In response to his choices, it appears that you are quite upset with your husband, the women in the fellowship group and the doctrine of the church.  
Know that Satan hates marriage and he hates families.  He will use anything, even religion to destroy a relationship.  In light of this, I want to make the following suggestions.  

1. Ask the Lord to help you to stop being angry or frustrated and redirect your energy in a way that will bring positive results.  

2. You need to find a wise spiritual counselor who can pray with you and help you understand what you're up against.  This may be a pastor or a mature Christian.

3.  The Bible says to examine yourself to see if you are in the faith. (1 Corinthians 11:28)
If you know that you are not in a place of rebellion, then be sure that you are being continually nourished by the Word of God so that the Devil can not work against you.

4.  Pay attention to what is being taught in your husband's fellowship group and determine if it is in line with the scriptures.  Whatever you discover, know that only prayer and fasting will tear down the wall that has been built up between the two of you.    

5.  If possible, lovingly remind your husband that the Bible says that no persons or thing should be allowed to come between you. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate (Matthew 19:6).

Be Encouraged,
Terri McFaddin

[ethereal]

Terri hit it right on the head. Listen very carefully to what's being taught (be careful not to "hear/see" error in something just because you are not in agreement). If what is being done or said doesn't line up with Scripture (and not this "taking one line out of a passage" theology), then you pray and ask God to show you (in the Word) so you can show your husband, what the truth is. We can argue with people, but you can't argue (and win) with God's word. Also, piggybacking on something else Terri said, make sure that EVERYTHING that you say and do is COMPLETELY out of love, not revenge, not wrath, not wanting to prove that you were right, not to say, "i told you so". You don't want to create a hole in your efforts to repair a breach.