Finding a Soulmate

[shellylee]

When I was in the 11th grade, I went on my first date.  I had to be home by 10:30.  Anyway, this guy was my first love, we dated from 11th grade to college.  We broke up because he had another girlfriend.  I ended up meeting another guy and having 2 children for this guy.
Through the years my first love and I kept in touch with each other as friends.  Now, he is single and I am single.  We complement each other so well.  Do you think he could be the one.  After 8 years, we have found ourselves together again.

[abundant]

Nothing just happens so have u prayed about him?  Does your goals, vision or purpose match up?  If not, just continue in your fellowship stage and get to know each other again...because people do change....8 is a lot of time that's past by...wait until u hear from God....my opinion

[Forum Administrator]

When I was in the 11th grade, I went on my first date.  I had to be home by 10:30.  Anyway, this guy was my first love, we dated from 11th grade to college.  We broke up because he had another girlfriend.  I ended up meeting another guy and having 2 children for this guy.
Through the years my first love and I kept in touch with each other as friends.  Now, he is single and I am single.  We complement each other so well.  Do you think he could be the one.  After 8 years, we have found ourselves together again.

Well said, abundant. That is good advice. Shellylee, it would be nice to have a happily ever after ending to this story, but keep your wits about you. Eight years is a long time, and you have a lot more at stake now. The fact that you have been able to maintain a friendship all this time, could be a major plus depending on the quality and nature of your friendship.

Trust is a major factor in relationships. Your previous involvement with your first love ended because he had another girlfriend which says something about his level of maturity and integrity at the time. Make sure these issues have been addressed and resolved. Pray, ask questions (including the "hard" ones), and keep a keen eye. Take a look at my response to the post How can I tell if he is the one? in this same category.

The soul of a person is that which makes them unique from everyone else. It is the true/real you: how you think; your likes and dislikes; your personality, etc. In order to even begin to determine if someone is a "soulmate," you must first know yourself. If you believe there is potential for this friendship to progress (in time) to a committed relationship and marriage, I would recommend that you both (independently) take the eHarmony personality profile (you'll find a link on the Deep Waters home page: http://www.deepwaters.info). It will give you an amazingly accurate profile of you: how you communicate; your personality; your strengths and weaknesses; type of personality/communication style that best complements yours. After you have both completed the profile, discuss the results and see what's to be seen. You will gain a lot of insight about yourself and your friend.

Also, I strongly recommend the book, Finding the Love of Your Life by Neil Clark Warren (you can find it on the Deep Waters resouce page for singles: http://www.deepwaters.info/resources-singles.htm). This is one of the most insightful and practical books I've read that will help you to get a clear picture of the kind of person who may be best suited for you. It will help you to ask the hard and necessary questions that will allow you to take a good look at who you are and to develop a better idea of the kind of person who would be best suited for you.

Finally, and above all, pray. Don't pray that he will be the right one. Keep and open mind (and hand). Pray that God will show you if he is the right one. God knows you both better than you will ever know yourselves. He knows everything about you: where you've been; where you are; and where you're going. He knows the purpose He has for your lives, and He knows the kind of person He wants in each of your lives in order to fulfill that purpose. Don't leave Him out. God wants to give you what's best for you. Be prepared to embrace or let go, but allow God to ultimately determine what is best for you.