She is back with her X and im hurt......

[isheila]

Hie. earlier on I told you guys about my breaking up with my girlfriend and the reason she pointed out to me was her parents separation this was not true. before I got into this relationship I asked God whether this was the it, this I did as I had been hurt before and had started praying to God that he gives me a wife only from him. I even went on to say that the next person i would date was going to be my wife. Before we started dating i told her about my new found faith and that Jesus would be the centre of our relationship, i commited myself saying i would not sleep with and she was fine with it and understood everything i stood for. She started going to church and showed commitment for things of christ. But when she told a friend of hers that she was dating me, the friend was negative and said it would never work as my girlfriend then, was still in love with her X. I confronted her and she assured me she was over him and we decided to go on. This is not what i based my decision on, my decision was in fact based on what God was saying which was emphasis on me trusting him. He seemed to say trust me evrytime I asked him if this was right. I am a successful man with a good career and it is not difficult for me to get another girl, but im deppressed as I feel everytime God blesses me with someone or something I seem to always lose them or it. I am afraid because now im thinking maybe im not lovable. My father left my mother when we were kids and she raised us on her on, my sister passed away in 2001, followed by my other sister who died of cancer recently my family perished in a car accident my mother,sister and brother my father died in 1994. Right now im left only with 1 brother a young sister and a neice. My X came into my life when i had just lost my family. I hear she is now back together with her X and thats the reason why she broke up with me. I cant seem to get over her, i keep wondering what the Lord meant when he said trust me. If one does not fight through Jesus for what they have the Devil will come and take and i feel he has taken enough and this time im not allowing him. Im going to fight through prayer that if it was God's intention I will get back together with my X. Well after writing all this im feeling better. I ask you to pray for me and that if its God's will i will get back together with my girlfriend. This would help my faith because im just feeling im being robbed. Pliz tell me what you all think.......

[David Dupree]

Hi isheila,

Please forgive me for not responding to your previous post. 

I definitely understand your being down on yourself for a bit.  You really have experience a lot of loss and tragedy in your life.  However, you have to know that your trials only come to make you stronger.  "Let the weak say, 'I am strong!'"

Regarding your situation with your X, let me see if I understand you correctly.  You asked God if she she was the one or in your words "this was the it."  And God's response to you was "Trust me."  Please correct me if I misunderstood your post. 

You declared that your next person you would date would be your wife.  But what did/does God say about it?  "Trust Me?"  If that is the case, the Trust Him by all means.  Don't try to make something where there is nothing.  If you really have committed to the Lord as it sounds like you have, then you have to believe that you walk in ORDERED steps.  Sometimes your steps may have detours or even dead ends.  But the key is to be obedient to whatever God tells you, however He tells you to, when He tells you. 

If she isn't agreeing to be the choice you believe God has for you, then shake the dust from your feet.  Hey, just because she doesn't agree does not mean that you did not do what God says.  Remember, our ways are not His ways and our thoughts, not His thoughts.  You just need to trust God...even though you have no clue what He is doing.  He knows and that is good enough.  Release your faith in God.  He knows what is best for you.  And if He will send His best son to die for you then surely He can send His best daughter to marry you.  Maybe this X is just not His best for you.   

Also, you are correct that as Christians we are to be violent.  But the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God!  Yes, fight with prayer, but pray the Word, according to the Word.  It just may not be "the Devil" coming to take what is yours.  But it may be God trying to spare you and get you into position so that you will be ready, willing and able to receive what He has prepared for you!

(On the totally natural side, my impression is that your X likes the idea of you and what you stand for, but she is not ready for that type of relationship; not ready to settle down. )

If I recall from a previous post, you are only 24 years old.  You are plenty young enough to take your time!!!  You are too young to believe that you are always losing girlfriends.  Although I don't believe in dating around, I do believe that often, because of our own choices, God allows us to go through and/or experience certain relationships usually to either make us stronger or to prepare for what we can't handle at that time or what the hymn writer would call a "foretaste of glory divine." (not sexually) But meaning sometimes we need to experience what is out there to see what we should be asking God for or to stay away from. 

You stay focused and rebuke that spirit of depression.  The devil would like to throw you off track if you let him.  But God will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him.   
You aren't losing people.  But sometimes God needs to isolate you to get your attention.  As God has said to you, trust Him.  "oh for Grace to trust Him MORE."

dd

[Novelist]

I am deeply moved by your life story and I can say that you are strong, because you are still here.  Tragedy does not come with coping instructions, it happens when you least expect it.  In all tradegy or castastrophe, God is in the midst.  Losing your loved ones are not easy to get over.  However, God has a purpose for your life and he is in control.  Yes, things are chaotic, your ex-girlfriend is back with her ex-boyfriend and I know it hurts.  Simply, through all of this, the enemy wants to destroy you.  By Annihilating your well-being and making you feel unloved and uncherished.  You are somebody in Christ.  He has made you and still stripping away the layers of hurt, wounds, and replacing it with love, wholeness, and triumph.  Your trials are challenging while there is a champion who can fight your battles: Jesus! 

Your love life is also another downfall, yet this is not the end of the world.  Have you thought about what God can be preserving for you?  Broken hearts can be mended.  In my opinion, she may not be the one that God has for you.  You can plan for as long as you want, but God may have another agenda for you.  I am paraphrasing this verse, but it says that his thoughts of you are good and not evil, and he wants to give you a future and a good hope found in Jeremiah 29:11.  His thoughts of you are love, treasured, and beyond belief.  God will blow your mind by his thoughts of you and you know what?  He still loves you the same.

Again, I am sympathetic toward your loss.  Despite of your losses, there is gain.  You have a chance to be the man that God has called you to be.  I know it will take time to get over the hurt and pain.  Just know that after the rain, the sunshine will come.  Disappointment, hurt, regrets, scars, and wounded heart are the experiences we face, yet with his stripes we are healed.  He is going to do wonderful things for your life, just hold on.  If you need to cry, allow the tears to flow, if you must clean out your closet, rid the old things, if you need to release your steam, go exercise or take a walk.  Do whatever you need to do in order to get over and keep moving.  Most of all, give God his time and chance to be everything to you.  I pray that all things will work out for you and know that you are not alone.  I have been hurt in relationships as well.  Stay encouraged.


Novelist.