Life is interesting

[Novelist]

Hello to everyone who reads this post and understand that I am expressing my deepest feeling.  If someone can give me some tips as to handling my outlook on relationships with men.  I find myself happy, then I would begin to doubt all over again as to why I am not in a relationship.  I mean, the answer is right there in front of me and yet I am fearful.  I want to face hardcore reality that I am not ready for a relationship because I have much more to work on as far as my relationship with God first of all and enjoying the single life.  I want to be content, meet new people and do all the things or at least some of the things I want to do.  I am seeking fulfillment and I know I cannot find it in things or people all the time. 

The human side of me wants to venture out and try new things, travel, see the world, meet new people, perhaps even date, but those categories are not up the par at this time.  As for dating, I do not meet too many men and when I do, it is someone I am not attracted at first sight.  Truthfully, I could be fickle at times, indeed I know what I want, it is the timing and going through the motions in life.  Most times, I ponder on where I am heading in life.  It is nearly a scary experience because I am getting older, I am 25 going on 26 and aspire to be a wife and mother by a certain time, but that is not working out for me right now.  Everything will take time and I am waiting as long as I can.  Life is surely interesting.  Sometimes, I wonder why things happen the way it does and for all the times I had chances, I ruined them.  I cannot erase the past, all I can do is prepare for the future and hopefully I will see a better picture than now.


Novelist.