Tips for Christian Parents of Gay Children

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Tips for Christian Parents of Gay Children
By Steve Arterburn

   1.   Finding out your child is a homosexual does not negate your parental love, any more than God negates His love for His children when they have fallen into sin. It is right that you still love your child. But God demonstrates His own love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8
      
   2. When kids tell their parents about their homosexual involvement, at least their own inner struggle has been externalized, and the process of dealing with the issues that led them to this choice can begin. Understand that telling you has probably been the most difficult thing your child has faced. Lovingly guard your response. Your reaction will be long remembered.
      
   3. Set clear boundaries. You love your child, but you must hate their sin because it hurts them. Be clear in your distinction between your love for them and your position on their behavior.
      
   4. Draw close to the Lord. Often, situations like this move people closer to God. If you were not in fellowship with other believers before this, you should be now. The toughest times often draw us to a much greater understanding of God's love. He does love you and your child, and you must hold on to that. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from God's love, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38,39
      
   5. When children reveal a piece of their own life to you, this is an expression of deep trust. What a terrific opportunity for you to show your unconditional love. That doesn't mean you approve of their lifestyle choice, but it will help keep the door open for honest communication.
      
   6. Your child is no tragedy. He or she is still your child. Knowing they are involved in homosexuality does not erase all the joy and blessings they have been to you over the years. Just because you learned of the problem doesn't mean you can't be the same loving parent you were a few hours before you became aware of the situation.
      
   7. You probably feel as though you are a solitary case, perhaps even afraid to share your dilemma for fear of rejection. It is important, however, that you find support from trusted friends, pastors or family members as you begin the process of examining your feelings and your response to your child.
      
   8. Demonstrate your love to your child in every way possible. This will prevent stagnation and bitterness from settling in your own heart. It will assure and insure them of the unconditional love you are showing them which will, in turn, remind them of God's love.
      
   9. Don't give up! Wrap your child in love and present them to the Lord. This commitment will free you to pray for the healing power of the Holy Spirit to inspire and liberate them, and you. Behold I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too difficult for Me? Jer. 32:27
      
  10. In many instances, homosexual attraction begins at a young age, in the pre-teen period. At that point it is emotional and not sexual. Examine this time period in your child's life, with them if possible, to explore root causes of their behavior.

When Homosexuality Hits Home
by Joe Dallas
The heart-wrenching declaration that a loved one is a homosexual is increasingly being heard in Christian households across America. How can this be? What went wrong? Is there a cure? In this straightforward book, Joe Dallas offers practical counsel on how to deal with the many conflicts and emotions parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, or any family member will experience when learning of a loved one's homosexuality. Drawing from his own experience and from his many years of helping families work through this perplexing and unexpected situation, Joe offers scriptural and compassionate advice to both struggling gays and those who love them.