A Little Venting

[ethereal]

I had read some of the "Trust Issues" article previously, but I went back and looked at it again and something that the moderator said really hit me: You either trust or you don't". I have wearied of hearing women say, "i trust you, i trust don't trust other women around you". I now realize that that is a cop out (if a man says it, it's an even bigger cop out!). It's the person that you're in the relationship with that you have to trust, not anyone else. By saying that, you are actually telling your mate (be it boy/girlfriend, faincee, husband/wife) that you don't trust THEM. We have to get to a point where we stop crutching and be honest about who we area and what we're afraid of. Sometimes I think we believe that the Blood not only saves us, but turns us into superheroes (and heroines   ) who shouldn't be afraid or who shouldn't show it. You know what kills fear? EXPOSURE. I encourage anyone that is in a relationship: If you are having trust issues and it is not based on actual events, please check your heart, if you don't you could be signing the death certificate for your relationship. If you are single, get whole, get complete, get right. Don't enter into relationship carrying that kind of load. We all have some "baggage" but distrust is a millstone, a mountain. You CAN'T move when tethered to it. And a word of caution, just because God puts someone in your life, don't take it for granted that your behavior or mindset won't cause them to be removed(maybe even permanently).

[SEEKINGAPUREHEART]

Ethereal,

Here are my 2 cents on trust.  I think we go through life trusting  until the day comes and something traumatic happens or someone blatantly mishandles us.  We seem to never ever get past it.  We often look at the next person through jaded eyes.  We have to keep it real with ourselves first before we can be real with anyone else.  Being whole within yourself is key to having a life long marriage/ relationship(of any kind).  God wants us to bring everything we are not to him. The ability to be vunerable is key if growth is expected. He is able to love us unconditionally no matter what.  Trust starts with us.  We all make mistakes regarding the wrong people etc.  We have to then learn from our mistakes, and be so intune with God that we are able to hear him when he speaks and only move in his time.  
One of the things I struggled with was being open and transparent with myself and others.  Once I realized that I had nothing to loose.  That God strengthens us when we are weak( a light bulb moment for me Trust can make or break any relationship, even our intimate relationship with God.  We either trust in his word or we don't. there is no grey area.  Just my little 2 cents.

Be blessed

[purity]

As I type I am sitting here like "oh my goodness". Deep waters is so in tune with the Lord---always on time. My significant other and I were JUST talking about this. I felt like I was having major trust issues before I read these postings. These postings have help me realize that its either trust or watch the relationship die. You both have made excellent point.

Today I admitted to him that I have a bit of a trust issue. In coming to terms with that the Lord showed me there's deliverance when you step up and accept what ever it is that is holding you back from a healthy life within self and others.

Now that I have admitted to myself and shared it with him this keeps me mindful and helps me to check myself when the trust issue does rise up.

Its funny how we can let go things of the pass that caused up great pain but still carry that memory and baggage not allowing ourselves to move on---while whatever it was or who ever it was that offended or hurt us is living their life. We let it go so we think...what we really do is open up our hand, mind, heart to release it but still leave the residue of the offense or hurt. (i.e. thoughts, negative feelings towards that person that offended you and those to come who will fill that space).

The truth of the matter is when you are secure and whole within yourself you can trust again when you have been hurt.

I am glad I have made a decision to trust again.

Thanks!

~ Purity - wanting to be pure in all my ways- even my feelings of trust.